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My way out of Dermatitis atopic - part 1

In August 2019 I felt young, beautiful and vital. Everything changed suddenly in September 2019.
A strong allergy reaction to pollen damaged my immune system from one day to the next and caused chaos in my energy body as well as my physical body. A severe neurodermatitis has broken out all over the body and has manifested itself with excruciating itching. The following days, weeks and months became a traumatic time for me. More precisely, my worst time of my life!
In the morning I was afraid of the day, in the evening I was afraid of the night. I no longer recognized myself in the mirror and was ashamed in front of my family. I began to isolate myself and looked for isolation, as the itching increased when I touched anything. Countless sleepless itchy nights followed (8 months) and almost drove me insane.
School medicine did not convince me because it did help and did not address the cause and therefore could not lead to an end. That's why I decided to use natural healing methods and kinesiology. I felt that I had to get to the bottom of my real self in order to get well again.
I couldn't imagine what a difficult task that was, because I thought I already knew who I am and what I want in life. What I overlooked, however, was the fact that my pattern manipulated me and made it difficult for me to decide what I really want in life. Years of sabotage had left severe damage and didn't want to get apart from me so easily.
Since I found my exit after a difficult and perfidious situation at one of my former employer and I regained my strength through the kinesiology training, I had thought that I would now listen to my wishes and dreams. But the normal madness of life soon got a grip on me again and I forgot the pain and my dreams. I had the strength again to compensate for all obstacles in life. A quality that we learn early on in life and is incredibly difficult to unlearn again.
The new area of ​​responsibility at my new job was a challenge for me, I felt that from the start. I wanted to take on the challenge and expand my potential. My weakness, "I can't do it", was stronger and I was only able to outsmart it for a short period of time. I was amazed myself how my development was going. However, my heart was still burning for my passion, kinesiology. In the meantime I had started my own business as a part-time business and I wanted nothing more than to support many clients with this wonderful method and to do this job full-time. I had more and more problems with the administrative job. When I had this terrible rash on my face that made me ashamed when I looked my husband in the eyes, I knew I had waited too long and had no longer lived my truth. 
I realized that I had to help myself by looking for my self-love and looking for the path of complementary medicine. Diet changes, kinesiology, homeopathy, various meditations and other techniques, as well as yoga and Qi Gong, exercise in nature and sound therapy have helped me.
So in these months I experienced challenges at all levels that pushed myself to my absolute limit. I was now able to practice my passion with kinesiology on myself to support other people in difficult situations. However, motivating and encouraging yourself is not so easy when you only hear yourself saying "I can no longer, I can no longer!"
I also found that it is not easy to choose your own method of recovery when doctors and other people keep telling you that you should use the other method. It is not accepted that you have a different attitude and turn away from it because you yourself feel your body and feel what is good for it and what is not. Here you feel cornered and irresponsible again. This leads to feelings of guilt and thus away from yourself, because as soon as you submit to the system again, you are no longer living your truth. I became aware of this, so I followed a guide that I received as an impulse. No compromise!
Yes, this disease wanted to tell me something in my opinion and I could only find out my way. Nobody should interfere in my decisions. So I made up my mind not to compromise. NONE!
I quickly realized that one of the messages from the disease was affecting my work. The real I wanted to free myself from this addiction (to earn good money), which made itself felt through my eczema. It therefore made no sense for me to return to work after my illness. This illness was a sign to be taken seriously. My learning process should be to stand up for my truth, may it cost what it may. So I decided not to compromise on this either. I wanted to decide on a new career path, something that I can do with passion and talent in order to finally get out of my old pattern into my potential development.
Today I can say that I have made a big step forward, but I still have a lot of self-knowledge to process. My open back and the rash all over my body have healed except for my arms and neck / face. It is still a great challenge to live with, but I am very grateful to be able to move again and to step forward in small steps. I didn't believe in it for a while and I forgive myself for it!

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